Oftentimes it's easier to lose motivation then it is to have it... Life happens. People work. People go to school. People are full time, stay at home parents. People are all of the above. And it is FRICKIN HARD to say "Hey, I'm going to go and do a 45 minute workout" or "I'm going to read 15 pages of my favorite book tonight when the kids go down for bed." Because the fact of the matter is sometimes our tiredness takes over. It sinks in and it's so daunting you can't think of nothing else. Your eyes are heavy. Your just thinking about when you'll crawl into your nice, cozy bed. And THAT'S OKAY! Hey, that's self care too! We all NEED our rest to feel like humans. I know if I don't get my rest, I feel like a crazy person who spits fire at anyone who ever stares into my direction. It's just the truth.
BUT...
Don't let sleep be your excuse of holding you back from your happiness from other things that could set your soul on fire. Other small, but open hearted exercises that feed your self care needs because you are worthy of so much more than you give yourself credit for.
When I had my first daughter Gracie, I gained 20 pounds postpartum that I had to lose in seven months for my wedding. Three of the months in which I had to rest because I knew NOTHING about postpartum fitness at the time - so the other four months I went ridiculously hard on myself and set unrealistic expectations.
I ended up losing the weight. I actually went past my goal weight even.
But I was on such a low calorie, high intensity workout program, that even though I LOVED what I saw in the mirror and I was so proud of myself - I was also mentally and physically exhausted. My body and my head got to this breaking point and I crashed.
I started eating everything....
I went back to my old ways....
I gained all the weight back and then some.
I was devastated.
Depressed.
Anxious.
Upset at myself.
There was no undo button.
And then we got pregnant with our second baby, and I gained even more weight.
Now I have even more jiggle. Even more weight to lose - and definitely more junk in the trunk.
But I came to this epiphany one morning when I had the house totally to myself (on a real note, this barely happens you guys) and I was just standing in front of one of my mirrors totally naked, CRYING. Literally in tears you guys... Not to sound weird at all - but this frickin body of mine carried and birthed TWO babies. This body of mine gave life, and yes it left scars, stretch marks and jiggle, but it did a superhuman thing.
Mothers are literally superheroes, and I don't think they are given enough credit.
I hate social media so much because it makes postpartum bodies look like something we need to hide or work on to improve - but why? Our bodies are beautiful just the way they are if we want to keep them that way.
For me personally, I am a stay at home mom. So if you can imagine I tend to lose energy quickly. Working out and eating right gives me the RIGHT kind of energy while staying sedentary and eating sweets and salty food makes me feel very droopy and tired. I'll have a crash at lunch and need bed by 7pm. With a 5 year old and a 2 year old, I can't live that life, nor do I want that life. The most important thing is for me to be present with my babies.
So I tried exercising again, and eating right.
But here's the trick, introduce healthy foods to your kids in a fun way. Maybe surprise them with their favorite dessert after, if they eat all of their meat and veggies. And make exercising just that easy too. Invite your kids with whatever type of exercise you choose to do:
- If it's running, buy a jogging stroller if you don't have one already, and run with the kids as they cheer you on.
- If it's walking, bring the stroller too and go for a brisk stroll.
- If it's swimming, the kids will have a blast, and you'll get a great aerobic workout as well.
- Yoga, I haven't met a kid that doesn't love yoga. Just grab a mat for them too and you guys will have a blast stretching, laughing and relaxing away.
- Dancing. Nowadays every home has an Alexa 😂 but if you don't have Alexa, just do it the old fashioned way and pop in your favorite CD, or turn on your favorite radio station and start dancing your hearts away.
- Tag. This sounds like a silly one but honestly it's one I couldn't forget to mention. If you have kids and they are high strung and full of energy, let them run around outside (weather permitting) and just play tag, or duck duck goose or anything that gets your heart rate up for a good solid 45 minutes to an hour.
Those are just a few recommendations, but the list could go on and on. Be creative. Be active. But most importantly, HAVE FUN!
I have personally been doing the Beachbody T25 workouts every night when the kids go down for bed. It's my "Me Time". I'll workout, sweat a bunch, read a couple of pages of my favorite book, and then shower before relaxing with my husband in bed to watch a little bit of TV before we fall asleep because then that's our "Us Time", which is also super important to us too.
The point is, you have to make time for whatever it is that is most important to you, whatever time it might be.
Sometimes I don't have the motivation to workout. When my kids go down at 9pm, and I am completely drained of all energy, I have to remember what's important to me - and what's important to me is feeling good. It's feeling energized. It's having this time for me because I gave myself... my EVERYTHING to everyone else all day long. This is MY time to do something for me and THIS right here is what I WANT to do. And that's exactly how I talk to myself. Sometimes I hype myself up and I'm like "Yes girl, get it". Other times, I'm like "Who are you trying to kid? Go to bed and snuggle with your man".
And as tempting as the negative thoughts can be, I grab my headband, I take TWO 🤣 scoops of pre-workout instead of one and I get moving because that's what it's all about. And I know that once it's complete, I get a high five and a kiss from my husband, and I feel so awesome at the end. That's the feeling that I really look forward to, and that's what you should too.
Self Care is about small, mindful steps that make you a happier person at the end of the day. If you can choose and build habits that genuinely make you happy, that's the magic right there.
Not to say you're not happy, but when we're not doing things for ourselves- or taking care of ourselves, we sometimes forget who we are! If we aren't careful, the steps we take daily and the lives we lead (being a parent, being a co-worker, being a student) our identity could quickly be taken away from us without even realizing it. Being overly stressed could cause us to overeat. Being anxious could cause us to nail bite, or drink. We build bad habits without realizing. But when we build a foundation - a form of self care for ourselves... We find happiness and a place to turn to when things like anxiety or stress creep up. Self Care allows us to be a more, healthier, happier person.
I truly notice such a difference when I take care of myself vs when I let myself go. I think it's really important to start small like drink more water, or get more rest, and then slowly build up from there. But truly, I do believe that everyone deserves self love and self care. We deserve that, and if you're a parent, your babies deserve that because they deserve the absolute best version of you. And if you're glowing and beaming with happiness, that's something your kids will notice, radiate, and never forget.
I believe in you. And I think you could do amazing things. You will FEEL amazing too.
Remember that progress doesn't happen over night. If it did, everyone would be doing BIG things. Life just isn't that simple. But I promise you will get there. Keep your head up and be courageous.
I like to look at every new journey like this - Small leaps lead to large victories and I'll be walking this marathon."
Until next time my beautiful people,
Jess
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